Personal Defining Moments

Posted on December 7, 2020

Experiences in life serve to provide defining moments for human beings. Major events such as births, deaths, new relationships (friendships and romantic), marriage, divorce, business endeavors, illnesses and (now) global pandemics affect each of us in different ways. Traumatic, challenging and heartbreaking experiences tend to linger in our hearts and minds. How do we heal, rise above and move on from painful experiences so we can live peaceful, joyful and fulfilling lives? What is the one perspective that serves to keep us stuck and potentially create physical dysfunction such as digestive, skin and heart issues (amongst others)?

The perspective of victimhood

When we choose to view ourselves as victims we choose a perspective that results in physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual suffering. What is the best way to step out of victim mentality and into an empowered state of consciousness? Let’s first start with how victim mentality begins. Let’s start with one word: WHY?

Do you notice you begin your sentences with “Why”? For example:

“Why is this happening to me?”
“Why didn’t I get that job?”
“Why can’t I meet a romantic partner; what is wrong with me?”
“Why am I not healing from this illness?”
“Why can’t I make enough money?”

Beginning sentences with “why” indicates our need to control that which we feel we cannot. I used to have a saying “If I can understand why, then I will be able to accept what is”. What I was actually saying (but wasn’t ready to accept) was “If I can control everything in my life, then I will feel safe and can trust I will be ok”. No one really enjoys feeling lack of, or out of, control. We don’t want to feel too vulnerable. Feeling vulnerable makes us feel scared and unsafe. Human beings are hard wired to feel pleasure and avoid fear. In fact, most people will do whatever they can to stay in control so they never have to feel vulnerable.

Allowing vulnerability is one of the strongest and
most powerful experiences we can embrace.

Ironically, although those who choose victim mentality would appear to embrace vulnerability, they are actually using the victim perspective to avoid feeling the deeper feelings they fear might destroy them if they sit in the discomfort of their uncomfortable and painful feelings.

I’m not suggesting victims do not exist; of course they do. People experience all types of very real and traumatic experiences. Right now people all over the world are suffering from circumstances very much out of their control. They are losing their jobs, their livelihoods, their homes, their families, their friends, and their way of life. The more fear some people experience, the more domestic and public violence increases. I’m not perpetuating a belief that victims do not exist. The point of this article is for you to ask yourself some questions so you can choose to live in the strongest, joyful and most life-affirming ways possible.

Do you notice how I use the word ‘choose’ throughout? Even though someone may not have chosen to be a victim because of past or present experiences, we all have choices about what we want to do with these experiences. Personal growth is encouraged by the challenging and defining moments of our lives. In other words, do you believe you are destined for only one way of life or do you choose to view your experiences as a way to discover yourself, your strength and your truth? Does life happen to you or are you the Master of Your Destiny? What do you believe?

Now…let’s take this a step further. Where does your soul fit into all of this? What do you think is possible? Do you believe your soul chose the following:

· All your life experiences, especially the painful ones?

· Contracts with everyone in your life to help your soul’s growth?

· Incarnate at this specific time in life to experience life’s energy balancing? (I’m specifically not using the word ‘karma’.)

If you are open to these possibilities you can release any vestige of victim mentality that no longer serves you; you can be grateful to all the people in your life because you understand they are keeping the soul contracts and agreements that you both made prior to incarnation; you can choose to promote and lead with light and love to balance the energy on the planet, within yourself and with others.

Think about that for a moment…what would embracing this type of life mean? Is it possible that you can change the course of your life but also how others experience themselves? How can this be?

We are all connected energetically. Many of us experience thinking about someone and they call or we run into them. We can use these connections to inspire unconditional self-love and unconditional love for our family, our friends, our partners and everyone on the planet.

Unconditional love

This mean love free from judgment, criticism, expectations, harshness, inaccurate beliefs and emotional pain.

Unconditional love = freedom

Freedom from self-loathing, unworthiness and the belief that we are unlovable

Experience the power of choice

How do you choose to end 2020 and begin 2021?

I choose LOVE!!

With love and gratitude ~
Stephanie